Where there was, where there wasn't, I don't know where there was, you don't know where there was, there were two regiments in the two extreme corners of the world, each of which let a soldier go half-legged. These two soldiers had neither country nor country of origin, but each went where he pleased.
In a large city - where a fair was taking place - both arrived at the same time. They started to scrounge around the fair, but they neither gave nor took, because they had no money. They went on and on and on, trying to find a way to make a little money, but at last each of them thought of something.
One of them went out into the forest, filled a sack with cocoons, turned around, went to the market, and tricked someone into selling them instead of nuts. And the other picked up a beech wood pellet for a sack, and wanted to sell it for wool.
They sold their wares for a long time, but no one wanted them. They also met each other many times, but did not address each other. The last one to speak was the one selling wool:
- What are you selling, brother?
- Nut. Well, kend?
- And I would sell wool, but nobody wants it sight unseen, and I want to sell it that way.
- I want my nuts like that; you know what? Let's swap!
They exchanged the sack sight unseen, left each other with it, ran out of the fair. As soon as they got out, they each wanted to see what nuts and wool they had got, and then they saw that they had deceived each other.
- 'Well, mate,' says the woolly one, 'I see that kend is as big a crook as I am, I'm as big a crook as kend. But let's put our earnings together, let's cheat the world together.
- "I don't mind," said the other. "What's your name?
- Bumblebee. Well, who?
- For Mohácsi.
Here the two gnats began to think of the easiest way to live with the least amount of things. At last they decided to go out in search of service. They found an old witch. But she needed only one man, and they would not go without each other; but they were very attached to the old woman.
The old woman kept saying that she only needed one man, that she only needed to think with one cow, what two men could do around a pious cow, one way or another; but the two obsitos were very insistent, and took them at last. They agreed that one of them would drive the cow out to pasture, and the other would clean out the barn.
On the first day, Bumblebee drove the cow out. He got himself a long-stemmed pipe and a straw chair, so that when he got out into the field he would sit on the chair, light a pipe and blow like a Turkish basa, and the cow would graze quietly around him. Mohácsi did not want to kill himself with work, and he thought he would clean the barn in the morning, and then sleep all day, only to get up to eat.
The Bumblebee left in the morning. He put bread and bacon in his bag, tied the chair on his back, and took the long-stemmed pipe in his hand; but no sooner had they left the town than the cow started to run. Bumblebee followed him; when Bumblebee was very tired, the cow stopped, grazed a little, and then started to run again.
This went on all day. Poor Bumblebee was sobbing his heart out when he got home in the evening. But Mohácsi didn't fare any better. In the morning he started to vomit up the dung. But as soon as he spat out one shovel, he had two instead, so much so that he wasn't done until late in the evening. Then he stood in the street doorway, waiting for Dongo. After a while, Bumblebee drove the cow home.
- "Well, mate," asks Mohács, "how did you get on?
- Very well, mate, because as soon as I got out of town, I found grass so beautiful that the sturgeon grass was knee-high. There I sat down on the little chair, lit the pipe and passed the time. What have you been doing all day?
I'd throw up two or three shovels of manure in the morning, go to bed, sleep until noon, get up at noon to eat, then go to bed again; only to wake up the morning before. But tomorrow you stay home, I'll go out with the cow; I know you sleep well.
The bumblebee was laughing out loud. "Well, you won't sleep," he thought to himself, but said nothing.
The next day Mohácsi went out and asked Dongo for the chair and the long-stemmed pipe. But he walked like the Bumblebee had walked the day before, and then his feet wore out, and he ran so fast. The Bumblebee started to vomit up the dung at home, but the sun was already slipping down when he was done with it. Mohácsi also came home with the cow, but even then he was angry. He snapped at the Beetle:
- Why didn't you tell me the cow was so wild?
- Hm! Why didn't you tell me the dung was so hard?
Here they began to wonder what the problem was. At last they came to the conclusion that their landlady was a witch, so they left her the next day.
This conversation was overheard by the old witch. She knew that the two servants would ask for their wages, but she wanted to make them pay; she taught her servant:
- When I tell you to bring money from the pit, you don't say anything, just ask: Which shall I bring from the yellow, the white, or the stack? Then turn out for a little while, and bring in this. And he gave him a lot of copper coins.
In the morning, the two obsitos came to ask for payment. The witch called the servant.
- Marcsa you! Go get half a bundle of money from the pit.
- Which should I get, the yellow, white or veres?
- Now only from the veres.
The two obsitos looked at each other; then they started peering out of the window to see where the servant was going. They saw that the pit was in the garden, at the outer corner of the garden. They winked at each other, thinking it would not be difficult to steal from it. But they said nothing.
After a long time the servant arrived. The old witch paid the two obsisters, and sent them on their way with the news of God. They could hardly wait for dark. They got a rope, they still had their sack, they set out to steal. They climbed the back fence of the garden and soon found the pit. There they began to argue about which one should go down.
- "You get down," says the Bumblebee, "you're thinner and lighter, we'll tie the rope around your waist and lower you down. Down below you'll fill the bag. I'll pull this up first, then you.
Mohácsi also went down into the pit, started to feel around down there, and found nothing but a piece of bone, a dead mouse, a frog, maybe even a cat's gum.
Bumblebee was just asking questions upstairs:
- Did you find it? Do you have many? Should I pull it now?
Mohácsi didn't dare to say what he had found, for fear that his friend would leave him there, only to reassure him that he would soon be full. While he was encouraging him, he was diving into the bag. When he was full, he gave a loud cry:
- Pull, buddy, it's full!
The bumblebee pulled the bag up, put it on his back, and, as if shot from a rifle, stunned him away. He didn't even say to Mohácsi in the pit (because he thought he had left it there): slipper. He carried the sack through ditch and bush, and then broke in it. When he got out of the town, Mohács spoke from the sack:
- Don't raise any more, mate, I've had enough.
The poison in Dongo, too, rose up at this, that he had been tricked like this.
- Why, what-ever you are, did I carry you?!
- "Well, my friend," said Mohács, "I knew that if I told you what I was up to, you'd leave me like St. Paul the Italian, so I thought it better.
At this, the Bumblebee also howled, because he saw that he was the better dog. He asked Mohácsi what he had found.
- Nothing else, my friend, but a piece of bone, a mouse, a frog. "They saw at once that they had cheated on each other, and that the old woman had cheated on them, and they scolded her even more, and then they began to discuss how they should earn their bread. So they decided to make a living, as long as they didn't work. If it doesn't flow, it drops. They thought no more, but took the road that was best travelled, and they went on, not knowing where. As they went along, they came to a tavern, which was surrounded by a gallows, and on each gallows hung a man, but the two obsitos went in. The Bee could not help asking the barman:
- Come now, my good sir, why are all these people all strung up here? What crime could they have committed? I've been to many countries, but I've never seen anything like this.
- Well, sir soldier, it is just that our king had a ring with a stone in it, so that if the king turned it inwards he could see the whole world, and if he turned it outwards the whole world could see him. This ring was lost the other day, no one knows where it is, the king proclaimed to the whole world that whoever can tell where his ring is, he will be as great as a little king, but whoever cannot tell the truth, let him not touch it, for if he does not tell the truth, he will be hanged. These were all soothsayers, but none of them could tell the truth, so they were all hanged.
The bumblebee didn't need anything else once he heard that.
- "I'm a fortune-teller too," he says to the innkeeper, "report me to the King.
Poor Mohács kept tugging at the back, "They'll hang you too!", it did no good, the more it confirmed that he was a fortune teller.
The innkeeper immediately sent a man on horseback to the king to tell him who and what he had. The king, as soon as he knew, sent a four-horse carriage to the innkeeper. Bumblebee got into it, and ordered the innkeeper to give Mohácsi everything he had ordered until he returned. He did well, and all day long he ate and drank, whether he needed it or not; but still he wondered what the Bumblebee's turn would be.
It was also because they had become very close, but even more so because he didn't have a single susta, and the debt was already too much. So he made up his mind that he would run away when he saw them bring Dongo. While Mohaïchi was thinking like that, Bumblebee was doing well.
As soon as the Bee entered the royal palace, everyone showed him great respect. They gave him a special room, where he locked himself in. As soon as he was alone, he took out a calendar he had stolen from the tavern and opened it. But he couldn't read, so he just started pointing to the white paper, the black letters, and the fancy letters, and saying with a big slogan:
- This one is white, this one is black, this one is black; this one is white, this one is black, this one is black.
For ages everyone outside was listening, wondering what the soothsayer was saying, but they couldn't make it out. The three servants of the king who had stolen the ring were the best listeners, but they could do nothing either. These three servants, one was called White, one Black, and the third Red.
Then the Bumblebee went to the king and asked him for three days of waiting and freedom, so that he could tell him where the precious golden ring was. The king would gladly have given him six, just to find the precious thing. Then the Bumblebee went back again to his own room, where he recited his own proverb.
The first day has passed. The king sent a servant named White to the Bumblebee to invite him to lunch. As soon as he opened the door, just then the Beetle said, "It's White." The servant was very frightened, for he thought he had said his name. But he pulled himself together and told him why he had come. The Bumblebee made a great prayer and said to him:
- Well, thank God I've achieved one. - He meant lunch, but the butler took that on himself. He thought for certain that the fortune-teller knew everything. He ran in great fright to his companions, and they were all wondering what to do.
- "We'd better make up with him," says one, "because if he tells the king it was us, he'll hang all three of us.
- "Let's wait another day," says the other, "just in case it wasn't us he meant.
The next day, the king sent in the man called Black to invite the fortune teller to lunch. As soon as he entered the room, just then the Beetle said, "It's Black."
The poor footman turned into a snow-whale, so frightened when he heard his name, but he somehow managed to explain why the king had sent him. And then the Bumblebee prayed a great prayer:
- Well, thank God, I've reached the second one.
The butler, hearing this, could hardly stagger out of the room. They decided at once to give the ring to the fortune-teller, and to anoint him so that he would not give it away. They went to see him soon after lunch. Even then, the Beetle read from the calendar with a wise face: "This one is white, this one is black, this one is black."
- 'Now, my lord soothsayer,' began the first footman, 'we see that you have learned from that book that we stole the ring. We are now come to give the ring to my fortune-teller. And we will pay you well, lest you accuse us to the king.
Bumblebee was very surprised, but he acted as if he knew everything. He made a deal with the servants that he wouldn't betray them if they paid him well. They gave him what he asked for.
On the third day at lunch, the king asked Dongo:
- Well, my soothsayer, it's been three days, have you heard anything about my ring?
- I do, sire King. But I cannot tell you now, for the time is not yet come; there is still one night left, and if I told you now before the time, I should lose all my knowledge; but tomorrow morning, when your majesty is up, I will tell you all.
After lunch, the Bumblebee went into his own room. There he racked his brains until he figured out what to do with the ring. The king had a very nice peacock, given to him when he was a boy, raised by him, fed every day from the palm of his hand, he wouldn't have given it for a calf cow.
Bumblebee saw that it was always going around the king, and he made up his mind that he would feed it to the ring. He got up early in the morning, when everyone in the house was still asleep. The peacock was already wandering in the courtyard, and Bumblebee drew him to him, and began to throw up pieces of bread, and then he put the ring in it and threw it to him, and the peacock ate it.
No sooner had he finished chasing the peacock away than the king came out to the front of the house. The bumblebee came to him:
- Well, sire King, time has passed, I can tell you where the ring is. Let your majesty kill the peacock, it is in his breast; once, when he was washing, your majesty the king, he laid the ring down beside him, and the peacock came and ate it, and it is still in his breast.
- 'Very well,' says the king, 'But if the ring is not there, my soothsayer will die a death of death, for having put to death that dear animal of mine. He will think well of it, I say!
But the Bumblebee was very firm, he knew the ring was there, he had read it out of his book, so he just had to kill the peacock. They killed him; the king and queen were watching when they opened it.
And as soon as the maid cleaves her breast, the beautiful ring rolls out.
The king and his wife were very happy about this. They kissed Dongo all over. Then they gathered together brothers-in-law, brothers-in-law, all kinds of brothers; they made a big dinosaur dance.
After lunch the Queen walked out into the garden with Dongo in her arms. As they were walking there, the Queen caught a big bumblebee fly.
- Well, soothsayer, guess what's in my hand? Your prize is a hundred gold pieces.
Bumblebee scratched his head, started muttering to himself:
- Well, Bumblebee, you're in trouble now!
- The biz a, says the queen, won my soothsayer, was a big bumblebee.
As they walked on, the Queen spoke again:
- At the back of this garden there is a wild animal, guess what, fortune-teller sir? The prize is a hundred gold pieces.
The Bee saw that sooner or later they would find out that he was not a fortune teller, so he sighed with a sad face:
- I can see now that the fox is wagging its tail in vain, and it will fall into the pit for the last time!
- The biz is on, you win again fortune teller sir, there's a fox back there in a pit.
The Bumblebee was very happy to get himself out of the mud again, and he didn't respond to anything they tried to make him do.
- Our law says that you must not predict more than three at the same time. - They didn't really ask.
The next day, the six-horse carriage arrived, the Bumblebee loaded up the money, got in it himself, said goodbye to the king, and drove to the inn.
Even then, Mohácsi stood outside the door, waiting to see when they would hang his buddy. Once he saw a carriage with six beautiful horses going by, he looked closer and saw the Bumblebee sitting in it, he thought he was dreaming, but only then did he look away when the Bumblebee got down and carried in the treasures. He started to find out what was going on.
- Whatever, whatever, buddy, just so long as we've got plenty of money, we can eat all we want. You see, that's the way it is: he who dares wins.
They started to celebrate, whoever went to the countryside of that tavern, everyone was fed, it was a feast day and night, on hill and valley. There was money like polyva.
But in vain, however long the sausage, it has come to an end, the two obsitos had run out of money, so much so that they owed the innkeeper. Here they met to consider what to do. They decided it would be best to run away and leave the innkeeper in the lurch. That night they gathered up what they had, stole a large lantern from the innkeeper, said goodbye to the doorkeeper's tree and set off for the forest.
As they were wandering around, they heard what sounded like a synod, they listened more carefully, they heard some kind of quarrel, they went that way, and found themselves in the middle of a cemetery, next to a ruined church wall. They look in through the window, see twelve thieves sharing a lot of gold and silver, and they are fighting over it.
The two obsitos thought for a long time, each thinking how good it would be to take it away from them. Then Mohácsi spoke up:
- Let's try our luck here, mate, see if we can scare off these hoodlums, pretend we're ghosts, if they get scared, it'd be nice to share that money.
The bumblebee said yes. They just wondered a little more how to go about it. They fired that one last time.
Bumblebee had a big white soldier's robe, which he put on himself so that his head was not visible, and taking the lamp in his hand, he went slowly into the church among the outlaws, and inside he began to speak in a thick voice, as if he were talking into a pot: "Rise up, ye who were buried here a thousand years ago, here comes judgment, every man must reckon himself."
Meanwhile Mohácsi was throwing all sorts of stones and bones from outside among the bandits, and shouting, sometimes thinly, sometimes thickly, as if there were thousands of them outside: 'We are coming, sir, all of us! We are coming, sir, all of us!" At this great noise of thunder the outlaws all scattered like chickens, leaving even their clothes behind, lest the day of judgment should find them there.
The two obsitos started sharing the money. But they suspected that the thugs might come back, so they started shouting:
"I won't let you have this one money; I won't let you have this one money!" But they were lucky, because one of the bandits went back to see if it was a ghost. But as soon as he heard what they were shouting, he ran back to his mates.
- Hey, listen, there are so many of them, that not one of that sea of money goes to one, all crying out, "I won't let this one money go; I won't let this one money go!" And the outlaws even ran out of the forest, they were so frightened.
The two obsitos distributed the money, each receiving a bag. They left the bad church and went out of the forest. As they went along, the road forked in two at one point, and there the Bumble Bee spoke:
- Well, my sweet friend, we've lived together long enough, we've cheated the world long enough, now we have enough money, we can live without each other, here the road goes both ways, you go right, I'll go left, if we ever meet again, we can live together again.
Here they said goodbye to each other; one went to the right, the other to the left; if they had not parted, if they had not committed more deceptions, my story would have lasted longer.
So far it has been, tale was probably not true.
(László Arany: Hungarian Folktales)
