Once upon a time there was, I don't know where it was, but somewhere there was, once upon a time there was an old king and his very, very beautiful daughter. And she did have a suitor, but a lot of them! From all over the world there came to the old king's court Dali princes, all sorts of heckle-fucking princes, but the princess liked none of them.
He told them all that he would not marry, nor leave his sweet father, till the world was over. The old king was both glad and grieved at this speech. He rejoiced because he loved his only daughter dearly; he grieved because he thought that when he died, this weak flower would be an orphan, and all those angry princes would take the kingdom from him. And many a time he said to his daughter:
- Think it over, my sweet daughter! What will happen to you when I die?
The princess said nothing, but went out into the flower garden, the most beautiful garden in the world. There she wept, she wept to herself, "My God, my God, how can I leave these beautiful flowers!"
But it was not only the flowers that the princess regretted. There was a tree in the middle of the garden - believe it or not - just reaching up to the sky. She would not marry, for she knew that there was no garden or tree like it in the world!
- Don't be afraid, don't be afraid, my little garden, don't be afraid, don't be afraid, my tree that reaches to the sky, I'll never leave you in this life! - said the princess.
A great, mighty fury, as he said, caught him up, spun him round, and threw him up into the high air, so that he had no news of him in the garden. His poor head could not bid farewell to his father nor his flower-garden.
In a moment the fury was gone, the sun shone fiercely, and all the flowers in the garden withered and wilted, as if they had been poured over with hot, hot water. The old king went down into the garden, saw the terrible destruction, and called to his daughter:
- Where are you, my daughter, where are you?! - but she could have shouted, the princess did not answer.
The people of the courtyard ran around, searched and searched every corner of the garden, the courtyard, the palace, but they could not find him anywhere.
- "They must have kidnapped him," said one or other.
- Maybe the earth swallowed it!" people speculated.
The old king wept like a little child, and then his heart was broken with great, strong sorrow. He sought, he courted (sought - ed.) throughout the land, even beyond, promising his only daughter and half his kingdom to whoever would bring her back. But though she was sought, she was not found.
Well, time has passed. Once the king dreamed that his daughter, in the great whirlwind, was caught up in the whirlwind and carried up to the tree that reached to the sky, and there to the castle of the nine-headed dragon. If she is not rescued, the dragon will marry her.
That was the only real regret. For the tree that reached to the sky, you see, had leaves so big that a country could fit on each one. Well, who could tell which leaf had the castle of the nine-headed dragon on it!
Anyway, here goes. It was announced again that the princess had been carried by the whirlwind to the tree that reaches to the sky, that she was in the castle of the nine-headed dragon, and that whoever brought her down from there would get her daughter and half of her kingdom, and after her death all of it!
It was only a matter of proclaiming it, and the princes, princes, counts, barons and all the valiant men of every race came and swarmed about the court. They did come, but they went away with their noses turned down, for they could not even climb to the middle of the tree: they turned back with great shame.
In the courtyard there was a little gym boy, who often saw the gaudy, mocking soldiers climbing up and down.
- 'My God,' sighed the boy, 'if the King would let me, I would try my luck!
As he said this, a little piglet rubbed up against him and said:
- You hear that, gym boy? You've always been good to me, and now I'm going to pay you back. Go to the king, and tell him that you will climb the tree to the sky, and bring down the princess. But bid him first kill the buffalo with the horns, and make seven pairs of horns and seven sets of skins. And thou shalt go upward till the seven pairs of bulls' feet and seven pairs of mockeries be torn off thee. Then you'll come to a branch, go along it, step on the first leaf: there's the castle of the nine-headed dragon. I'll say no more, the rest is your business.
The little pig suddenly blended in with the herd, not saying another word, and saying it slowly. And the coachman thought to himself: one life, one death, God help him, I'll try, and he went straight to the king. He saluted him in due form, and said what he would.
Hey, you should have heard how the King laughed! His heart was full of sorrow and bitterness, yet he could not help laughing.
- What do you say, you human thing (mocking word: pumpkin seed - ed.), you?! - he asked the gym boy, as if he hadn't heard what he had just said.
- I pledge my life and my death, my majestic king, that I will climb the tree to heaven, and will not return without the princess.
The court jester was sitting next to the king. The king asks him:
- Well, you fool, what do you say to this foolish talk?
- "I say," said the fool, "that you must take this cat's cradle (sarcasm: scratch - ed.) for a joke.
But already the gym boy was getting angry. He said to the king:
- My sovereign king, he shall not listen to a fool, for a fool's wind blows a fool's wind. Let him kill the buffalo with the truncated horns, and make me seven pairs of anklets and seven sets of skirts, and put my head on a spike if I return without the Princess.
"Hm," thought the king, "this is no longer a joke!" So he said to the coachman:
- Very well, my son, John, it will be as you wish, but I tell you, fall from the tree and break your neck, or I'll break it with the executioner.
John thanked the king for his good wishes, and as soon as he had made seven pairs of sticks and seven orders of mockery, he made a great prayer, and plunged his little axe into the tree, and leaned against the handle, and then he cut his axe higher, and in a moment it was so lost among the many great leaves that no human eye could see it again.
For seven days and seven nights he crawled, clung, clung, clung, hanging here and there, until the seventh pair of stumps and the mockery of the seventh order were torn from him. Then, just as the piglet had said, he came to an endless long branch bending forward.
But that branch was as thin as my arm, even thinner than that. He didn't think much: he lay on his stomach, and crept on and on. The branch bent this way and that way - hey, if it broke off! - all his bones would be broken to dust!
"John, John, come back!" - he said to himself, but he said it only as if he would not return if he had come this far. Where, there! Here was the first leaf of the branch, just a good hop from him. He gasped, closed his eyes - hello, world! - and leaped at the leaf, so that he lay on it like a goat's frog. Well, there it is!
But he was speechless when he looked away. Well, this is just the kind of country Odale is. There was everything: woods, fields, villages, towns, streams, rivers, seas, but he saw no man, and not so much as a punch of Tinder.
John went on, through forests, fields, mountains, valleys, and on the seventh day he came to a palace of diamonds. No, he had never seen such a palace. It turned on a rock, had seven thousand windows and seven thousand garadits (steps - ed.). But it spun as fast as a whirlwind, and even faster.
By the time he tried to step on a garadish, it was already turning on the other side, and when he pushed it, it fell back so that the ground beneath him was tumbling.
- "I've got brains, too," said John, in a great huff, "I've got brains, too, hey!" he took his axe, suddenly plunged it into a garadish, and walked up to the diamond palace.
Well, the princess was already running to him from afar with great enthusiasm.
- Oh, my sweet little John, how can you come here where no bird goes?!
John said:
- Don't ask her that, miss, but come with me to your father!
- Jesus Mary, Saint Joseph! Say no more, for if the nine-headed dragon hears you, our lives are over.
The dragon came at once, the flame burst from all nine mouths. He asks the princess:
- What is this human thing doing here?
- Oh, my soul, my dragon," begged the princess, "do not hurt this boy! He was my little servant, and came up after me to serve me.
- 'All right, all right,' growled the dragon, 'I'll let him live, but I'll give him some food, too, and see if I can't damage half or all of what he eats.
In the dragon's stable there was a lame, lame, lame horse, and the dragon ordered John to fuck* this horse, but to fuck it so that if he asked it for something, he would always give it something else, otherwise he would be playing with its life.
"It's easy!" - thought John, and went straight to the stable. Now, he had never seen a horse like that since he came into the world. It was all bone and hide, and it could not stand on its feet, lying on the bridge,* and the poor thing moaned, moaned bitterly. Janosha put a spur in front of him, but he did not look at her. He brought her oats, which she didn't need. He assured her with a kind word:
- Eat, you poor thing, eat! - but a speck of spelt, a grain of oats, was not enough, nor did he eat so much.
All of a sudden the horse sounds:
- I see that you have a good heart, boy, but you offer me in vain, with sarin and beans, it is not for me. Burning embers are my food, but my master will not give me. He wants me to die, for I alone know the secret of how to destroy him.
- What can I give you? - asked Jánoska.
- Burning embers, my son, but lots of them.
- Yes, but the dragon told me to always give you something other than what you want.
- 'Well, if you give me anything else, you won't take the princess home,' said the horse.
That was all Jánoska needed. But even then he gives everything the horse wants. He told the horse:
- Well, you poor thing, make a wish, I will!
Said the horse:
- I only wish that on Sunday, when the dragon goes to church with the lady, you stay at home, light the fire in the woodshed, and leave the rest to me.
John was not long in going to church when he set fire to the cauldron, and when it burned down he took a shovelful of coals for the horse. Before he had even taken his breath, he had eaten it all in one bite, and was on his feet the minute he was on his feet. He went straight to the yard, and there he ate all the embers, but without even leaving the ashes.
Jánoska's eyes were wide open with daydreaming. But even then he gazed and gazed in the eyes of the gods, when he looked and looked, and saw that the horse's hair shone like gold, that none of his ribs were visible, and that he had not four legs, but five.
The horse was shaken, the horse was blowing hard now, but Jánoska's eyes were shining. He was such a beautiful golden-haired steed that you could look at the sun, but not at this. He said to Jánoska:
- Well, my lad, in place of a good deed, expect good! Listen to me! Run down to the cellar, there's a saddle, a bridle and a sword, fetch them quickly.
Janoska ran to the cellar, took the saddle, the reins, the sword, but just as she was about to turn out of the door, the dragon came with a great derendance (with a great noise - editor), and stopped Janoska.
- Stop, hey! Where are you taking that horse tool? You're going to die!
He took the sword from Janoska's hand, and tried to cut off her neck.
- "Well, you human thing," said the dragon, "say goodbye to life, for you have deceived me!
- 'Don't kill me, let me live,' begged Janoska, 'I'll never cheat you again!
- I'll kill you, you human thing, but first we'll drink a cup of wine for your sins!
He poured a cup of wine from the largest barrel, poured it for himself and John, and encouraged him:
- Drink, you human thing, you're not drinking anymore anyway.
They had a drink, but Jánoska kept begging:
- Let me live, nine-headed dragon, I'll cheat you no more!
Said the dragon:
- I don't believe you, John, but let's have another cup of wine for my sins.
They had another cup of wine. Well - Lord Jesus Christ - all of a sudden the dragon started dancing, making a big noise: "my feet here, not there!" - And he lay down on the ground, and slept like a log.
But Jánoska ran away without a brain! He could well have cut off all nine heads of the dragon, but he was already in the courtyard when he thought of it. Tell the case of the five-legged horse.
- "Saddle and bridle quickly; you did well not to touch him," said the horse. - When you had cut off one of his heads, he would have woken up and your life would have been over.
Janos suddenly saddled the five-legged horse, jumped on, and only then asked:
- Where to, then, my sweet horse?
- To the forest, little master. There is a wild boar, a rabbit in its head, a school-box in its head, nine hornets in its school-box. In these nine hornets is the power of the nine-headed dragon, if we destroy them, the dragon will not have the power of a sucking child.
Meanwhile the horse started off at a brisk trot, and before Janoska could say a word they were in the woods.
- Well, little master, here we are. The wild boar is coming.
He came, heading straight for them. He snarled his fangs, stood up on his two hind legs, and kicked at them to cut them off. But the five-legged horse had not five legs for nothing, and he kicked the boar so hard with his fifth leg that he turned over in a moment.
Now, Jánoska had the courage to draw his sword, and he hit the boar so hard that its head split in two, and a rabbit jumped out of it. Chop-chop, after him! The rabbit ran like the wind, but the five-legged horse ran even faster, and when he caught up with him, he kicked him with his fifth leg so hard that the poor little rabbit died instantly.
John now got down from the horse, split the rabbit's head in two, and there was the school-school, and the wasps must have been in the school-school, for they buzzed, donged, and buzzed in it, as if a devil had got into it. Janoska did not think twice, she put the school-kitchen down on a flat stone, took another flat stone and hit the school-kitchen with it, so that there was no school-kitchen and no wasps.
- "Well, my little master," said the five-legged horse, "now we can go home safely, do not be afraid of the nine-headed dragon.
Indeed, when they got home, there was the dragon lying in the cellar, not as strong as a sick fly.
- Kill my power, will you? - said he to John, when he saw him.
- I will, but I will kill you now, and take the princess home.
- Don't kill me! - begged the dragon. - Take the princess home, and with her whatever treasure you find, you may take it all.
- "I don't want your treasure," said Janoska, and she cut off all the dragon's nine heads, so that he could not stand on his feet again.
He ran up to the princess and told her all the things he hadn't done since they had seen each other.
- "Oh, my soul, my John," rejoiced the princess, "I shall be no one's but yours, whether we stay here or go home!
Jánoska said:
- But we're not staying here, we'll find a way back.
I would believe it if it had been that easy! But only now did it occur to John how thinly he had slipped in. He would just slide back somehow, but the princess would slip off the branch, she certainly would.
"What do I do? what do I do?" - Janoska wondered, and walked up and down the courtyard, mournfully. Suddenly the five-legged horse stood in front of him and asked:
- What are you moping about, little master?
Tell Janoska what she is sad about.
- Don't you worry about that, you hear! Sit on my back, and leave the rest to me.
Well, if so, they got on the back of the five-legged horse.
- Now close your eyes! - said the horse.
They closed.
- Now open it!
They opened.
Well, there they are in the old king's court. They went up to the palace, straight to the king's room.
Oh, my God, the old king was about to die, but when he saw his daughter, he jumped out of bed, and if he wasn't caught, he'd start dancing. At once he sent for a priest, and had the young men married.
They had a wedding for seven countries. For seven days and seven nights they ate, drank, danced, and danced. And I was there, and danced till my heels turned back, and then I ran backwards, and ran so fast that they couldn't lure me back with a honeysuckle.
If you don't believe me, check it out.
(Elek Benedek: Hungarian tale- and mythology Volume 1)
